matthewsagan:

Hey there Delilah I know times are getting hard

But someday when this restraining order ends

I’ll be right back in your front yard

girlwhowasonfire:

deans-avenging-angel:

girlwhowasonfire:

Found a better use for the wine glasses

That’s a martini glass

I’m literally using it for milk and cookies does it look like I care about the finer points of debauchery

sorelatable:

Freshmen about to be in the hallways like

image

bagmilk:

mom can i borrow money to buy you a present

lameust:

dw:

When someone gives you directions but you go the wrong way

image

 

  • Status: Rain! :)
  • Older person on Facebook: Us too, so badly needed as well. Tell your mom I said hi. How is the family? Tell everyone hi from us. We miss you all so much. Wish we could be there. You're a beautiful young woman.
  • 492,515 notes

impaire:

I hate school because it’s that time of the year where you realize you aren’t just ugly, you’re also stupid.

Good wifi on the Hogwarts Express this year

thugmissus:

neverknowinglybeserious:

a-hobbit-john:

hiiddles:

wife-of-loki:

MINE IS CRAPPY
WHAT CARRIAGE ARE YOU IN!??!?!

COME TO THE BACK 

THE SLYTHERINS HAVE HACKED DUMBLEDORE’S WIFI

1GB BITCHES

Thanks to the Ravenclaws, guys.

The password’s “AL0H4M0R4”
Pass it on. 

image

beatonna:

King Baby says No
  • me typing in 2009: Hi there! This is a fun email thingy. What r u doing?????? Wow typing is really hard lol.
  • me typing in 2010: Hay guise! It's meh wtf lmao! I don't have ADHD i just IS THAT A PANCAKE TACO TURTLE LOL :3 xD
  • me typing in 2011: Oh my god, are you all illiterate? What do you think this is, 2006? Grow up, you lot of nine-year-olds. Nobody wants to have the Internet tainted with your scum.
  • me typing in 2012: lol whats happening hoo Dis
  • me typing in 2013: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • me typing in 2014: hella
  • 480,368 notes

he-was-number-wan:

Chowder is old enough to be on Boomerang guess it’s time to join AARP and replace everything in my diet with prunes